reminiscence

Kantian's Categorical Imperatives

2010-01-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

This topic is one of my favorite during last term. Undoubtedly, it attract my attention that Immanuel Kant is a one whole hell of a wise man. I believe the most in one of his imperatives, "Only treat one like how you wished to be treated."

He lives in age where there is no INTERNET, no debate on human rights, slavery, discrimination. Hit him, hate him, he was still able to act like no man his time would, think like no human of that age would.

We studied P1 Professional Accountant for half a year. Now, I totally understood why others often label accounting grads as book smart...in my place, rote smart. If this cannot even start at school, how do you wish to apply it in real world.

We are in the era where stakeholders' interests are beyond duty of tort. If you treat your neighbour in a way that the latter never treated you, my question, "Who are you?"

Oh...I know, someone from the Dark Ages. You will think that you are of higher status ladder than the rest. Just like the Priest from The Pearl by John Steinbeck, others are like children to you, no adults treatment would be required. I am of superiority, I correct your work...no debates, no questions and definately, no explanations required.

Today, 20 January 2010...ten years from now...I might be the president for Kant's fan club. But what will you be? Oh...I know...you'll be the bean counter...the number-cruncher...the ever so 'slave' of your masters, the shareholders.

Finally, I understood why some of the lecturers rather earn less working at higher institutions than corporate world. They want us to learn like Kant. Never as means to an ends but an ends in itself.

hi again

2009-10-28T23:22:00.000-07:00

today's pretty gloomy, my head aches
not really a good day for writing but i'll try
very full but sleepy at 1300 hr
not a good thing

an hr n a half past but i'm still stuck here
wish i could take one day off
heading 2 a place where there's mill
in a lambo...maybe a bicycle would be better off

fairytales? a place for us 2 reignite our dreams o wake-up call?
perhaps, Gigi's right abt happily ever after
it's not abt finding ur significant half
it's abt u starting over...all by yourself

solitude

2009-08-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

Somehow i seem to find solitude pleasing...why i wonder? am i a loner?
Well, i dont think so...i meant, it's not like i'm the quiet type...if u know me, then you definately don't think so...
Someone told me that i should open up, let others into my world
Perhaps, it's just me...
i rather not...why you would ask? cause i don't find a reason for it but a million reasons against it
Call me weirdo,call me freak but i still rather not
cause this is my life...
I don't live it the way others expect me to, i live it the way i WANT TO

Solitude seems to be the perfect companion, my best friend for the past five years
A place that i no longer fear of anything or anyone...a kingdom of my own

Hi, I'm Luci here!

2009-08-04T23:11:00.000-07:00

i think my parents should have this name on my birth cert back in 1988.
i loveeee this name. knew y? search d bible n u figure it out...
i would love 2 bring my trident but it's too outstanding in d crowd of zombies...
i wish there's just a pavement for me
that'l direct me back to where i belong
i yell but u heard no sound
i cried but u saw no tear
i fell but u saw no wound
cardiac arrest, that's how i felt
love seems to be something that i knew not
i inhaled but end up sufficating
i ran but end up ran down
i dreamt but end up wit nightmares
that's why i rather be Luci

sooooo high school

2009-07-16T00:24:00.000-07:00

i read one of my friends blog just now, then i realised my life seems to stop at high school level. Perhaps it's because my maturity level have not inch even half an mm since 2005.

This is my final year at college. My life was very much of a routine for the past three years. No doubt that there's surprises now and then. Besides that, I'm still struggling with the same issues i did at high school. Homework, time constraint, alter ego, buried interest(hobbies), boring life, drama crave.

I just finished my progress test this morning. Only now did I realised that some of my friends have different views of life. Or shoould i say, living it as well.

Am i a problematic person. Silently, I felt so. When there's problem, all i wanted to do is to hide from it. I never actually resolve it. I buried myself into sands of inches deep. Six feet under. Tell me about it.

Personally, I don't think much people are like me. I'm definately in the confused area. Seems to lost my everything sometime ago. If my parents ever read this, I swear they will cry their hearts out. But I don't worry much cause they aren't gonna find out.

The most precious thing that i'd lost was me. Looking back to five years ago, I seem to have a totally different life. Very optimistic, dare to dream, less selfish(errr, maybe), confident,...very chengkuan.

Now, I felt like shunning myself even my own reflection. I'd turn into a horrible person. Throwing tantrum as I like. Making others' life miserable seems to top my list. The only thing that I had put my parents in concern is my non-flexible attitude. I had no idea about cooking, cleaning o even switching on the washing machine(imagine that? good)

If i ever get myself into trouble, i'm totally certified. I had goosebumps everytime i thought about it. My mum oftens asked,"What if I'm gone one day? How will you manage your life then?" "Then, don't. If you are not willing to let me screw up my life, don't leave," I said jokingly, realising how she put her life into a bore just to let us have a comfortable life.

Not mum alone, dad too. I'm sure that he has not been doing something that he enjoyed doing very much. Perhaps it's the way of how my parents live that i'm begining to question, "Are ther only four stages of life? Birth, growth, sick and death?"

I told myself that i wanted more for the people i truly cared about. More happiness, more comfort, more wonderful experience, more success, more moment of joy and bliss, morelove for them to live til their last breadth. But, will i be able to do that?

have u ever wonder?

2009-07-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

my name is nobody...i don't really remember how old am I
Have you ever watched any MTV where someone was sitting still,
and everything is fast-forwarded?
If you have seen it,
Welcome to my life...

Sometimes it fell upon me that I had scripts,
Unwritten ones...
but who would read them?
How are others supposed to notice them?
when I'm just an invisible creature?

Dreams...
Sweet dreams?
I used to had one, conquering a field that my fiery passion lies
but, it's gone
broken into pieces...
More specifically, I smash it

THEY said one's act can affect 6 people...
then, whose decision affected mine?
Why my vision since then
seems to be one through tinted glass?
Have i ever wonder? Yes...no

My o my

2009-06-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

my life suckssss
my life rots...
my o my

have there been a second in ur life dat u felt like hitting
d man who sat beside u?
d reason? he smells like shit
bo
how could they not realised this...

this is m'sia
for goodness sake, put on some deo

where did they come from?

2009-05-09T07:13:00.000-07:00

"snatch theft dragged its victim across the road..."
"couple stripped off naked by a gang..."
"pick pockets in numbers"

Have u read articles with same headlines or content? Have any if these ever happened to anyone close to u?

I have been both; having frens being a victim n reading articles as well...
But I cant believe what I saw 2day...

I was on a bus 2day(I love buyin a tix n get in from d back door) n stood on d higher platform.
evrythin was fine until d bus stopped by 1 station n v(passengers) saw a guy being beaten by a gp of men (around 8 to 10).

Later, these gp aboard d bus n d bus was sort of crowded. So, I just stood stil as d place where I stood only permitted 2 person 2 stand at a time...

Suddenly, a guy well dressed came up 2 d platform n then 2 of d men from d gp came nearer 2 d platform...
A lady sitting near where I stood told me 2 stand much further from d door...I felt weird but I did follow...Hmmm, how does dat happened?

Then, all of a sudden, my eyes felt on d well dressed man(let's just called him P) shoes. U will never b able 2 guessed wat happen next.
One of d men from d gp started shakin of P's leg; more precisely, the bottom of his slack.
My first bloody thought would b; is P a thief?
Then, goosebumps were around my neck, he's d victim, not d thief.
P back off, shaking his legs 2 b freed.

Some1 rang d bell later, d bus stopped. Guess wat? D whole gp went down...
Later, d bus was noisy(remembered primary school's canteen during recess? sort of).
Every1 was busy talking o complaing?
D lady(mentioned above) told me dat, these troops often prey on passengers, esp those well dressed. They used 2 come in a gp of 2 o 3 but now d gp expanded....

Esp in recession, d people's safety r put at risk. U sholud consider urself lucky if they only robbed u. Imagine losing an expensive hp can be unbearable but if they ever attemp something else; u might wish dat u were never born...

Come 2 dat, think again...wat r they? Babarians? O FAR WORSE?

Irony

2009-05-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

finally, I remembered my blog's password...

Recently, I read a novel; Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella.

A few words dat came into mind abt d novel are amnesia, life, cherish, steammy affair, marriage, perfection...

So, I started thinking, "Which is worse?"
1. Marrying a 'perfect husband' that kinda organized freak
2. Involve in an affair at the same time

Then, I realised, another q, "Is it bad to be having affair which someone that u r very in love with?"

As I realised, literature at school does help in life. To be honest, I'm d person dat would be torn in this situation...

For d idealist me, I would never marry a guy dat I'll be unfaithful to...
This in turn means, I will never commit adultery...

However, d rebelliousness in me started to take control once I felt I'm stucked in a boring marriage. Perhaps, I'll ask, "Is it wrong if I'm in love with this guy(who loves me dearly) just because I'm married?"

Ask urself, if u found dat 1 person dat u would sacrifice everything 4, wil u ever have the courage to hold urself from an affair?

If my idealist side ever steps in, I guess I'll just choose a divorce...
Then, I'll get to be wit this person dat I'd stil b in love with even til I'm eighty yrs old...

Ironic,isn't it how things can be?

Yet, u hav 2 ask urself another q, "Is he in 4 d love o d lust?"

1991

2008-02-02T05:01:00.000-08:00

a bald man wit a big smile hoping around, banging and clashing sounds, smal red pieces flying in d air...
that's how it seems 2 be when i was young...i used to wonder wat those things r??? n y is every1 so happy looking at them...
tat was when i was given a small red envelope carrying syilings, i used to love shaking d red packets jus 2 listen to d clashing sound of d syilings. It didnt matter 2 me wats in d packet.
if u r really reading, then u might had a REMINISCENCE of how d upcoming celebration used 2 b during childhood...
Lunar o Chinese new year...
17 years ago, d main reason i love cny was b'coz i got to taste d 'gassy beverage', a lot of candy, get 2 watch more cartoons n of course d clashing sound of syilings...
back 2 d future, d upcoming celebration would b jus another holiday 4 me 2 have longer sleep, endless shoppin n damn...revision b4 exam; my exams normally falls a month b4 cny...
nex year, after cny, i'l b having my internship 4 3 months...
sumtimes, i wonder does it mean that as u grew older, things seem less matter 2 u?hmmm...think again